E.A. Brady

[Before I get started, let me clarify – this is not a post about domestic violence. If that’s something you need help with, please reach out to The Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.7233.]

I feel like quite often I preface my posts with, “this probably isn’t usual for a romance writer,” and this post is no exception. The reason for that is most likely my interest in such wide-ranging subjects as romance writing and combat sports, and the ability to somehow connect the two.

I love a good, slow burn love story just as much as I love to watch fighters squaring off in the ring (and the octagon!).

It probably comes as no surprise that I love to train myself in both of those things. I study the craft of writing just as passionately as I work on my Muay Thai and kickboxing techniques.

And as strange as it sounds, I love the feedback I get on both things.

When it comes to my writing, I belong to two different groups, one of which is super helpful in providing feedback. My son will also read some of the things I write and offer his own reactions. He’s one of my harshest, but most honest critics. I call this the “red ink” feedback.

When it comes to my Muay Thai training, one of the unavoidable consequences of training for me is bruising. When my coach and I spar, if I’m not paying attention to what he’s doing he’ll land some pretty nasty kicks, leaving me with bruises all over my legs! I call this the “black and blue” feedback.

Do both of those things hurt? Absolutely!

Are both of those things necessary? Absolutely!

The feedback I get, in the form of “red ink” as well as “black and blues,” lets me know that I’m trying. I’m working really hard to get better at the things that matter to me.

Is failure an option? One hundred percent! But you know what else is an option? Success! When my writer friends (or my son) tell me that a piece works and that they really enjoyed it, I celebrate. When I can see a kick coming and I check it or, better yet, avoid it, it’s a huge victory for me.

But I love my training bruises. I love the feedback I get from the work I submit. Because it’s not easy putting yourself out there on either front.

Bruises are going to happen, whether actual bruises from kicks to my legs, or metaphorical ones that negative feedback causes to my ego. Either way, they’re both opportunities to learn. And learning is growth. And growth is evolving.

So, as my coach said to me the first time we trained in 2022, “New year, new bruises. Let’s go.”